So I didn't get dressed today today I was highly productive whilst wearing yoga pants. Suffice to say, Lululemon and a ratty WFU T-shirt doesn't make for a very fun photo. Sooooooo... in lieu of the typical OOTD Post, I give you...
A Scintillating Discussion on the Implementation of Hose in the Modern Workplace
Panty Hose... your grandmother wears them.... Robin Williams wore them as Mrs. Doubtfire... the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders wear them in that unfortunate "suntan" shade... they're itchy and remind you of mothballs and varicose veins and bad polyester jumpers. In a word, they suck.
However - and some of you might not want to hear this but IT IS THE GOD'S HONEST TRUTH - there are situations in which hose are appropriate - NAY! - where hose are required.
In my life, those situations can usually be labeled with a big, fat, red COURT stamp. I keep (kept) several pairs in my office for this very reason (that way, I could slip them on before a court appearance and not have to wear the evil beasts all day). Interviews also necessitate the sporting of The Worst Fashion Accessory Ever. Some may disagree and claim that hose are hopelessly outdated and unnecessary, but you really never know what sexist/prude artifact of a human will be sitting across that desk from you, holding the key to your future career happiness in his or her shriveled little hand. Err on the side of caution, mmmkay?!
And if you must wear hose, you might as well invest in a few pairs that don't make you want to saw your thighs off right under the control top line. My favorites:
Comprised of Our Friend Spanx + Good-Quality Hose. There's really not much else to say. These won't totally break the bank and will get you through multiple wears without snags or runs.
So these are technically tights (which, I will totally sport in the Hose-Required Situations if it is actually cold outside - unlike hose, I LOVE tights!), but they much more sheer than the usual suspects in my Tights Arsenal. Like the Spanx, these last much longer than your typical drugstore variety and are quite comfy.
In all honesty, I have yet to experience Wolford Hosiery. However, I have on Very Good Authority, that these suckers are the bee's knees of panty hose.
I should also mention, I never buy hosiery in any color other than black or nude (and I'm talking NUDE-nude - like, "I can barely tell you're wearing hose" nude). Please. For the love of all things Not Stuck in 1992. Do not purchase hose in some sort of "suntan" color. Think SHEER. Not SHERA.